Many people dream beautifully, clearly and confidently say. But not all know and understand, from what develops the speech and the art of speaking beautifully. Meanwhile, in addition to speech technology wishing to speak beautifully need to gain confidence, overcome inferiority complex, to learn to keep the back and look in the eyes.
"It is not confident" in the language of psychology, means that a person feels... the shame. But the shame of a special kind. Shame for yourself. He internally feels that alone, without all his achievements he's not good enough and he needs to rise to a certain level in order to look decent in the eyes of others and to have the right to do what he wants without judgment. People suspect that he "correspond" to some criteria and regulations, and set forth to them. A successful career, position in society, a Bank account is often needed as a confirmation that "I can","I took", "I got a good grade", therefore, got permission to do it without subconscious feelings of shame what would never do if I wasn't successful and rich. But the confident man is not ashamed of himself, even if he does not do anything special... or even bad everything.
Just think of the absurdity of the situation when the opinion of other people and their relationship mean more to the person more than his own assessment of himself! Insecure people can't evaluate themselves so high and depends on other people's opinions, explicit or imagined. He can't accept himself for what he is, and always seek to improve themselves. With careers, money, plastic surgery... There are quite obvious and simple to observe the behaviors that differentiate confidence people.
- talking loudly but do not shout;
- looking directly in the eyes, but not "drilled" through his eyes;
- keeps a certain distance connection, not closer to the interlocutor close;
- know how to keep a pause in the conversation;
- rarely kill partners;
- able to clearly and accurately Express their opinions;
- speak openly about their feelings, desires and claims, accompanying them with brief and clear rationale often use the pronoun "I";
- not afraid of expressing personal opinions;
- from them you rarely hear insults, reproaches, charges: all claims against others, they speak on their own behalf.
Not to say that these abilities are formed by themselves, or that man is born self-confident. As with all social-psychological qualities of a personality, self-confidence is formed in the course of socialization, i.e., in interaction with their social environment.
Methods of dealing with fear immediately before the performance:
- Quickly move your jaw back and forth, this will help to relax facial nerves to your face resembling the mask of the ancient theatre.
- Vigorously shook his hands, wiggle your fingers, knead the palm of your hand. This gymnastics helps to relieve the paralyzing effect of excitement, stimulates the vocal apparatus; the speed of your reactions and eloquence significantly increased.
- Energetically walk, wave your hands. Physical activity helps to relieve nervous tension.
- Move in a calm pace. Stretch your arms upwards, keeping the heels off the floor, stretch and throw the body down, shake hands.
In the excitement of the reflex increases respiration rate (agitated, we breathe and often superficial). And since everything in the human body is interconnected, when the conscious control of breathing changes and the psychological state of the person Learning to control your breathing and control it, you learn to control feelings such as excitement, fear, panic. Slow and deep breathing will help decrease anxiety. Use the following breathing exercises before a performance:.
1. "Square breathing": breathe in through the nose, pause, exhale through the nose and again pause. Exercise make four accounts (inhale for one, two, three, four, pause for one, two, three, four, etc.).
2. "Breath on account of": take a breath through your nose once or twice, exhale through your nose for three-four-five-six. Pause. (3-5 breaths).
Next, increase the length of inhalations and exhalations. Inhale through the nose for one-two-three-four, exhale through your nose for five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten-eleven-twelve (5-7 breaths).
3. "Exhale through the mouth": inhale through the nose for one-two-three, exhale through your mouth for five-six-seven-eight-nine-ten-eleven-twelve (5-7 breaths).
We always say on the exhale. Speaking, the breath is best to do the nose and exhale we, anyway, do mouth. The longer our breath, the stronger, more melodic and without a break, we will be able to speak. It is important to learn to exhale slower than usual.
4. If breath, take a few deep breaths with the exhale pronouncing any words with the use of the vowel "u". For example: uh, circle, down...
If you don't know where to put your hands. Before the performance, the hands are in a natural position along the body or slightly bent at the elbows and slightly pressed to the body. During the performance, you can put your hands behind your back, on a table or podium. It is not advisable to cross hands, close the hands, keep the pockets. You can pick up any object (a pen,a book, a sheet with their records) but not to make unnecessary manipulations with the subject. It is better to hold the dumbbell in one hand below the other remained free.
In the event of any increase in anxiety during performance will help any movement
You can walk, pick up anything, a microphone, a visual aid. To come up with a cause for applause and to applaud along with the audience.
I hope that these tips will be useful. Who wants to stop being afraid should start to speak. It is difficult only the first five times. Arm yourself with knowledge and get experience, improve your public speaking. And each time, the discomfort will be replaced by the pleasure from a job well done.
Try and find something that will help you.